After All
by Kamchatka
Summary: Three short, related fics. 1)Many,many years after the wars, Hilde reflects on life and loss. POV. Death (but not tragic). 2+H. 2)Duo's last letter to Heero 3) Wufei reflects. All feedback appreciated.
1. After All

_I don't own Gundam Wing, just this teeny tiny scrap of a story. Many, many years after the wars. Hilde POV. There may be a whisper of shounen ai, but it's pretty damn innocent. _

_A couple of people have told me that they can't access the little related fic I posted as Chapter 2. Since I've found some stories with "hidden" chapters as well and solved the "missing link" problem, the link to Chapter 2 (which is not a continuation, but a side fic) is: _ http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=854798&chapter=2

_Thank you for the feedback, public and private!_

  
  


After All 

by Kamchatka

  
  


It's snowing again, fat slow flakes against the purple sky. I can't help but watch. The weather of Earth still captivates me, even though I have called this ancient cottage home for many, many more years than I lived in the L2 colonies where I was born. The climate is constant there, its minor fluctuations planned and announced days in advance. Only here can a flutter of snowflakes catch me by surprise.

Their mesmerizing dance weights my eyelids and I nestle deeper into the comforter. Such a silly name for a blanket, comforter. Especially now. 

My best comfort, my true comfort, lies in a simple pine coffin below stairs. For the first time in more than 70 years, I am sitting in a bed that is mine alone. It's cold and it's empty. Dear God, how will I ever sleep without him here? 

Why doesn't my heart stop as well?

But I know the answer to that question. I must endure, if only for a while. There are promises I must keep, hands I must hold, tears I must dry, children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren I must comfort. And I must allow them to comfort me. 

It is for their sakes, not for mine. I am sad. I ache. I am lonely. But I cannot let myself stay miserable. My life has been too full and too happy for me to turn it sour at the end. He taught me to believe in forever. I know that soon we will be together again, and this time there will be no parting. Soon. Everything comes soon when you're my age. 

There is much to be grateful for. The end was so peaceful for him. We sat here in our cozy bed by the window, watching the sun rise, as we so often do. His breathing was a bit harsh and shallow, a little worse today than yesterday, and I caught myself wondering how many more mornings like this we would have. As though he'd read my thoughts he squeezed my hand and whispered "Love you, Hilde Babe." And just like that I knew the answer to my question. I could barely remember the last time he called me "Hilde Babe". Many, many pet names we've had for each other, but that one was from our earliest years together. I looked just in time to see him watching me with the same wistful, wicked half smile that won my heart all those years ago.

And then he died. 

The light faded from his eyes and he went heavy against me, and he died, my beloved, between one breath and the next. God's gift to him, I think that gentle passing must have been. He had known so much violence and horror. He had seen and authored so much death that he called himself Shinigami while he was still a child. God's gift it was to me, too. I will never have to see him suffer again.

We knew his heart was failing. He had grown steadily weaker over the past few weeks. Our little boy doctor, who is younger than my youngest grandchild, told us what we already knew. His body had simply worn out. No medicine is proof against time.

The last two days he hadn't gone downstairs at all. But he was my Duo, and if he wasted even a minute feeling sorry for himself, he said nothing of it. We talked more about the old days in those last days than we had in decades, not with longing, just with remembering. 

Our lives were often... interesting. Chang Wu Fei once told me that "May you live in interesting times" is a curse. Perhaps so, but I never felt cursed. Life has never been easy, yet I would not change a minute of it, even now.

Wu Fei will be here tomorrow. And Heero. Yes, Heero will come. They are the only ones left now, the only ones who have to remember being the boys who saved the world.

A tiny noise makes me realize I've been dozing. Softly, very softly, the front door closes. Someone is downstairs. 

I am not afraid. There is nothing to fear. The sound of a motor would have awakened me sooner. Only one person I know would have walked the four miles from the village at night in the snow.

I toe into my comfortable old slippers and pull on my warm robe before taking up my cane and moving to the top of the stairs. It takes me so long to get anywhere these days. 

The door is firmly latched again. An unfamiliar overcoat hangs on the peg next to mine. Warm light and drying footprints lead me into the parlor. He has switched on the little Tiffany lamp at the head of the coffin. His shoulders shake ever so slightly as he rests a gentle hand on the still chest and strokes the white braid that reposes there.

"_Baka_," he whispers, and the rude word is a term of endearment.

My descent has hardly been silent, and after a moment, he turns to face me. He is still handsome and sturdy, this dignified, bespectacled Japanese gentleman, though he has begun to look his age. His lips are trembling as he manages, somehow, to dredge up a smile for me. Those still intense blue eyes are full of tears.

I am the only living person who has seen Heero Yuy cry.

"Hilde," he says as he reaches out to me with both arms. "Oh, Hilde…"

And so we hold each other and weep, unashamed. Tonight is hard and the services tomorrow will be harder still. He will be my strength and I will be his. There are no secrets between us and no artifice. Our bond is so strong. After all, we have been in love with the same man for the better part of a century.


	2. Dear Heero

Not really a continuation of After All. Just a little companion piece. Duo's last letter to his best friend. Sap & friendship. All feedback welcome (Thanks, Ms. Maxwell-Yuy!)...

Feb. 8, 279AC

Dear Heero,

Well, Buddy, it's beginning to look like we won't see each other again, this side of the bar. That's Tennyson's, by the way, not Murphy's. 

I hate this goodbye shit. But I know it's time to go. I'm ready. This sorry old carcass has made a few too many laps around the cosmic race track. This morning the doctor waited until Hilde went out to get the car and told me that I probably won't be here this time next week. He's a sweet kid, reminds me of Quatre. Poor little sap had tears in his eyes. So I gave him a hug and thanked him for all he's done and told him to get the hell back in his office before Hil came back and saw him in that state.

He tried to talk me into a transplant, but I decided to go out with the original equipment. It wouldn't be right to deny some kid a chance to see 20 when I've been knocking around for damn near a century, now would it? 

There's another reason, too. You're the only one who ever knows this. Tell Hilde and I swear by your ratty old spandex shorts I'll find a way to come back and haunt you.

Truth is, I'm a coward. I am the weakest, sorriest son of a bitch (sorry, Mom) on the planet, but I've never lied to you and it's way too late to get into the habit now. I don't want to be the last man standing. I don't have the nerve to face burying Hilde. Or you. Or Wu Fei, either, though God knows he'll probably be hiding out on that mountain top of his for another hundred years. I love him, but, man, that is one spooky old dude. Stands to reason. He was a spooky young dude, too.

Did I ever tell you what he did when the Ozzies had us locked up on the moon base, right before we blasted out of there? You knew they cut off our air, right. And I was laying there, flat on my back, looking at the pictures Trowa smuggled in to us, and just trying like hell to pull in one breath after another. So all of a sudden I realized I hadn't heard anything out of Wu Fei for a few minutes. Swear to God, that crazy mother had put himself into some kind of trance. He was breathing like once or twice a minute, and he wasn't even sweating. So there I was, panting like a dog and feeling like someone stuck a vacuum hose down my throat, and he was meditating.

Whoops, drifting off the subject there, wasn't I? Anyway, I know I don't have to tell you this, but being me, I will anyway. Hilde's the strongest person I've ever known. She'll get through this. You're going to make sure of it. Take care of her, man. And let her take care of you. It'll be good for both of you.

The kids will be okay. Jerry and Margaret are celebrating their 40th anniversary next month. Whoever would have thought those two would last six months, huh? He still gets embarrassed if anyone talks about his grand entrance into the world. Your obstetrical debut. Harass him a little, okay? He needs to loosen up.

James Robert has received word that he'll have his own parish. This one kind of chokes me up: it's St. Jude's on L2. Maxwell Church is going to have a Father Maxwell again. I can't think of anyone better for the job. And he'll have built in guardian angels.

Helen's the only one I really worry about. She's just so damn... Helen. There's so much anger in her. I pray she'll find her way. I have faith that she will. She just makes things so hard on herself. Be there for her when she needs someone to scream at, okay? She's going to be heartily pissed that I've had the audacity to get old and die.

It's your fault, you know. If you hadn't barfed all over your training and broken me out of that cell on C1102, I wouldn't have had the chance to get old. I wouldn't have been on the colony to meet Hilde. And I wouldn't have gotten to see you save the world. Twice. 

You know, I don't remember ever saying thank you for any of that, and since this is probably the last chance I'll get in this lifetime, let me say it. Thanks, Heero. Really, and truly, and no bullshit, whatsoever. Thank you.

Seems like there ought to be a lot more to say, but I'm getting really tired and I want to get this in the system before Hilde comes back from town. So I guess that's it. Even a man of many words runs out eventually. I wish you were here, dammit. That way I could embarrass you with one last bear hug. Thanks for being my best friend. I love you, man. I really do. 

See you later (alligator),

Duo


	3. Wufei alone

Wufei alone  
by  
Kamchatka  
  
  
I am the last.  
The dragon, solitary once again.  
Alone with my ghosts.  
Alone.  
  
Unexpected,  
their faces find me, in stars and sunrise,  
in flowered meadows,  
dew kissed.  
  
Caught unaware, today I saw:  
Quatre's hair in a burst of sunflowers,  
Trowa's eyes in a shadowed green pool,  
Duo's laugh in the wind tossed poplars,  
Heero's heart in the eye of the storm.  
  
Here at world's end,  
sits the dragon, steadfastly awaiting  
soft voices calling  
me home. 


End file.
